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Relationship Problem: Communication
All relationship problems stem from poor communication, according to Elaine Fantle Shimberg, author of Blending Families. "You can't communicate while you're checking your BlackBerry, watching TV, or flipping through the sports section," she says.
Problem-solving strategies:
Make an actual appointment with each other, Shimberg says. If you live together, put the cell phones on vibrate, put the kids to bed, and let voicemail pick up your calls.
If you can't "communicate" without raising your voices, go to a public spot like the library, park, or restaurant where you'd be embarrassed if anyone saw you screaming.
Set up some rules. Try not to interrupt until your partner is through speaking, or ban phrases such as "You always ..." or "You never ...."
Use body language to show you're listening. Don’t doodle, look at your watch, or pick at your nails. Nod so the other person knows you're getting the message, and rephrase if you need to. For instance, say, "What I hear you saying is that you feel as though you have more chores at home, even though we're both working." If you're right, the other can confirm. If what the other person really meant was, "Hey, you're a slob and you create more work for me by having to pick up after you," he or she can say so, but in a nicer way.
#relationshiptips
#relationshiptips: 10 Compromises You Should Never Make in a Relationship
You Don’t Need to Be Best Friends.
We’re practically spoon-fed the message that we should be dating and/or marrying our best friend—but it’s simply not true. “It’s perfectly normal to have a best friend that you call often, confide in, and spend time with who is not your partner,” says licensed marriage and family therapist Dr. Racine Henry. “Be clear about the boundaries of that friendship so that you’re not disrespecting your relationship, but don’t expect your partner to play the role of BFF either.” There are just some things that your partner won’t be interested in hearing about that you can only talk to a close friend about.
Don’t Tell Your Friends and Family Everything
Parents and close friends are always going to ask about your relationship, and while you might be inclined to dish to them about bedroom issues you’re having or seek their advice on other annoyances, try to keep it general rather than spilling all the dirt. Hershenson says it’s important not to share these personal details of your relationship with others—especially fights or your sex life (a.k.a. the juiciest stuff you really want to talk about). This can cause you to get the wrong advice from those who might be a little biased towards either you or your partner, which can only make things worse. Talk to a therapist or someone impartial instead.
Finances Matter… a Lot
People who don’t share core values and a shared mindset around money make for terrible partners. “One of the top causes of divorce is a lack of alignment around money,” says Opert. “That can mean spending the money, saving the money, sharing the money, and how we emotionally value money. Financial talk can lead to more arguments and disconnection in relationships, which is why it’s one of the most important parts of creating a happy, fulfilled, and sustainable relationship.” So talk out any concerns or differences you might have ASAP.
#relatiosnhiptips
#relationshiptips:The Relationship Advice No One Ever Tells You—But Should
sometimes the key to having a happy and healthy relationship is to ignore all that relationship advice out there! Well… not all of it. But often the cliché tips you’ve heard a million times from friends, family, or women’s magazines don’t apply to your particular situation. There might be some universal truths about relationships, but there’s rarely a one-size-fits-all prescription for a given couple or situation.
Plus, we all learn a lot about what makes a relationship work best by being in one and taking things as they comes. So, here are 11 pieces of relationship advice you likely never hear, but should definitely know.
Actually, it’s OK to Go to Bed Angry
Sometimes you just might be too tired or stressed to talk about a sensitive issue or work out a fight at the end of a long day—and that’s OK. In fact, often getting some sleep will make it easier for you to have an important conversation, says psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Laura Ciel. “This doesn’t mean yelling at them or getting a last verbal attack in and then shutting down. It means letting your partner know that you will return to the issue when you’re ready the next day and reassuring them how much you love them and/or how much you care about them and the relationship.” Don’t make the fight bigger than the relationship!
Just Love Isn’t Enough
It’s not just about love—it’s about connection. “Connection is what pulls love along with you wherever you go,” says love and relationship coach, Jessica Elizabeth Opert. “We can indeed pile an entire amazing life into the cart of love, however, without the connection to pull it, the cart stops and love dies, so focus less on how to create more love, and instead, ask yourself, how can I connect more with my partner?” Connection is strengthened when you share activities, go through challenges together, and honestly communicate with each other.
Take a Break from Talking
You can’t seem to read or hear about any relationship advice without being told how important communication is, right? That’s true, but it doesn’t always mean talking about things over and over to resolve it perfectly. “Sometimes the best thing you can do is STOP talking, breathe, go for a walk and remember why your relationship matters so much to you,” says Ciel. “Reconnecting with the bigger picture of your love for this person can help you filter out the unnecessary words and zero in on what you really want to say from a place of love.”
#relationshiptips:The Relationship Advice No One Ever Tells You—But Should
sometimes the key to having a happy and healthy relationship is to ignore all that relationship advice out there! Well… not all of it. But often the cliché tips you’ve heard a million times from friends, family, or women’s magazines don’t apply to your particular situation. There might be some universal truths about relationships, but there’s rarely a one-size-fits-all prescription for a given couple or situation.
Plus, we all learn a lot about what makes a relationship work best by being in one and taking things as they comes. So, here are 11 pieces of relationship advice you likely never hear, but should definitely know.
Actually, it’s OK to Go to Bed Angry
Sometimes you just might be too tired or stressed to talk about a sensitive issue or work out a fight at the end of a long day—and that’s OK. In fact, often getting some sleep will make it easier for you to have an important conversation, says psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Laura Ciel. “This doesn’t mean yelling at them or getting a last verbal attack in and then shutting down. It means letting your partner know that you will return to the issue when you’re ready the next day and reassuring them how much you love them and/or how much you care about them and the relationship.” Don’t make the fight bigger than the relationship!
Just Love Isn’t Enough
It’s not just about love—it’s about connection. “Connection is what pulls love along with you wherever you go,” says love and relationship coach, Jessica Elizabeth Opert. “We can indeed pile an entire amazing life into the cart of love, however, without the connection to pull it, the cart stops and love dies, so focus less on how to create more love, and instead, ask yourself, how can I connect more with my partner?” Connection is strengthened when you share activities, go through challenges together, and honestly communicate with each other.
Take a Break from Talking
You can’t seem to read or hear about any relationship advice without being told how important communication is, right? That’s true, but it doesn’t always mean talking about things over and over to resolve it perfectly. “Sometimes the best thing you can do is STOP talking, breathe, go for a walk and remember why your relationship matters so much to you,” says Ciel. “Reconnecting with the bigger picture of your love for this person can help you filter out the unnecessary words and zero in on what you really want to say from a place of love.”
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"My Governor Give Me Appointment, Una Dey Hate Me, Una Go Di£!" - Bbnaija Nengi
"My Governor Give Me Appointment, Una Dey Hate Me, Una Go Di£!" - BBNaija Nengi Blasts Haters (Video)
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Ex Big Brother Naija Lockdown housemate, Nengi Rebecca Hampson has fired back at unspecified haters for not congratulating her on her new appointments.
Recall the reality star arrived her state, Bayelsa, today 6th November and was given a befitting grand homecoming parade.
Afterwards, she got appointed by her Governor, Douye Dirihas, as his senior special adviser and the face of Bayelsa state.
She was also appointed as an ambassador to the girl child of Bayelsa.
Few minutes after her appointments, Nengi could be heard in a video wishing her haters death for hating on her instead of congratulating her on her new appointments.
See full update/ watch video here;
