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YOUR NEED FOR TRUE LOVE REVEALS YOUR NEED TO BE LOVED UNCONDITIONALLY
Leah’s life was controlled by the hope that she could somehow make herself lovable. She was desperate to find a way to earn her husband’s attention. Her broken heart and desperation to be loved, teach us a deeply personal truth about our own search for true love. We inevitably all feel the crushing weight of trying to earn it.
Marketers sell us the idea that if we were just a little bit more attractive, a little thinner, and a little better dressed, then someone would finally take notice and we would feel loved. But we do not. Culture pressures us to set aside our prudish reluctance and instead give-away our bodies; it promises us intimacy leads to love. But it does not.
“Honestly, true love has never really been about romance or passion at all. It is about truth and value. It is about vulnerability and acceptance.”
The harder we try, the more desperate we become to find the magic potion. We believe that with the poison-tipped arrow of Cupid in our hand, we need only hit our target and watch as love and intimacy explodes into a vibrant life of confidence, fulfillment, and passion. But, that is not real life. So, we end up settling for watching it play out in movies and dreaming about it in novels. Our own experience feels more like crawling our way through the dunes of the Sahara Desert, desperate to find an oasis with water. Just when we think we have finally found true love, we are crushed with the reality that it was just a mirage and we have nothing to show for it.
Leah helps us realize that most of what we call love and our search for it, is really a desperate expedition for evidence that we are valuable enough to be loved in the first place. We want to feel like our life is worth something to someone. We are desperate to be known, not just as a body, but as a soul. We want to be vulnerable and in that vulnerability to be accepted. We want to be loved unconditionally.
This is where we find the great struggle of looking for true love. As one author puts it, “To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear.” Each of us wants to find a way to open up our hearts and lives and know that in that moment of honesty we will be accepted and not rejected.
We all know the risks, so we tend toward pretending. Too nervous to share the truth, we morph into whatever seems most desirable. But that is empty. We know it and we just do not know what else to do. We feel like we have to keep the show going. After all, what is the alternative? If we open up with the whole truth, we face the risk of being ridiculed, rejected, and thrown away.
Honestly, true love has never really been about romance or passion at all. It is about truth and value. It is about vulnerability and acceptance. It is about wholeness and finding peace. It is about discovering a foundation on which we can build our lives and on which we can place our hope and confidence. It is about feeling like we are worth something. It is about sharing vulnerability and in the midst of it, feeling loved unconditionally.
#relationshiptips
LOVE REQUIRES YOU TO REVEAL YOUR ......
TRUE SELF TO ANOTHER
The famous author, C. S. Lewis, puts it best, “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one.” Lewis is right. What makes love so hard, and sometimes painful, is the vulnerability that always seems to accompany it.
“True love goes beyond the passion of romance and even finding a partner for the sake of being married.”
We use the word love to describe a lot of things. We love food. We love music. We love a good joke and we love having a good time. Using love to describe such simple things makes the word seem a little safer. It is safe because we are not exposed. A great cup of coffee cannot reject us. A song from our favorite band does not leave us feeling useless. But when we choose to share our life with another person, we inevitably make a choice to become vulnerable. Unfortunately, vulnerability leaves our defenses down, and often we get hurt.
We all know the feeling: rejection, humiliation, desperation. Opening our hearts to another person, only to be rejected, is one of the most painful experiences in life. It hurts the most because in love we are most vulnerable. It’s worse than physical pain because it shakes us at the core of our identity, our hopes, and our dreams. Love rushes us to the mountain-top, and when lost, sends us careening back to the valley below. We cannot help but feel empty. We cannot help but feel worthless. We cannot help but feel hopeless.
NAF DID NOT RECEIVE ANY ‘RESCUE CALLS’ REGARDING ATTACK ON BORNO VILLAGE ON 1 NOVEMBER 2020
The attention of the Nigerian Air Force (NAF) has been drawn to a publication in an online platform alleging that it “did not respond to calls for support when suspected Boko Haram insurgents attacked Takulashi Village in Shikarkir Ward, Chibok Local Government Area (LGA) of Borno State in the morning of Sunday, 1 November 2020”; an information which the report alleges it obtained from supposed “military sources”. The NAF wishes to state that there is absolutely no iota of truth in the spurious allegations. Indeed, we ordinarily would not have responded to such baseless, unfounded allegations but for the need to set the record straight as well as reaffirm the NAF’s unflinching commitment to ensuring the security of Nigeria and Nigerians, wherever they may reside in the Country.
For the avoidance of doubt, it must be stated that the NAF did not receive any call for support regarding an attack at Takulashi Village in Chibok LGA on 1 November 2020. Had any such report been received, the NAF, in its characteristic responsiveness, would have certainly taken appropriate action. Indeed, the report rightly remarked that “if air support came on time, one or two air strikes would have decimated them”. However, no request in this regard was made to the Air Task Force of Operation LAFIYA DOLE (ATF OPLD) on the said date. Accordingly, it was very wrong of the report to state, without any basis, that the NAF ‘ignored rescue calls’.
It is pertinent to highlight that the NAF, through the ATF OPLD, has flown over 26,000 hours of Intelligence, Surveillance and Reconnaissance (ISR) and air interdiction missions as well as close air support missions in support of Operation LAFIYA DOLE in the last 5 years. The NAF has been working ‘hand-in-glove’ with other security agencies and has a crop of well-trained, highly-motivated young pilots that are ever ready and willing to respond to emergencies, whenever called upon. Hence, it is utterly ludicrous to insinuate that the NAF would fail to respond to any such situation, if called upon. The general public is therefore enjoined to discountenance the evidently false report.
It is equally disingenuous of the online medium to refer to an isolated incident that had its peculiar nuances of predisposition to collateral damage as a basis for justifying their blatantly false claims. This smacks of gross unprofessionalism and obvious deliberate intent at mischief.
The NAF, as a professional and disciplined force, has and will continue to do its utmost to ensure the security of Nigeria and Nigerians across the Country. We remain resolute in performing our function and will continue to work in synergy with other security agencies to rid the Country of insurgents. Hence, we will not be distracted by such evidently orchestrated attempts to tarnish the hard-earned, good image of the Service.
IBIKUNLE DARAMOLA
Air Commodore
Director of Public Relations & Information
Nigerian Air Force
2 November 2020
E Don Start: Davido Blast Wizkid, As Wizkid Ignore Davido's Message
Davido has taken to social media to hit hard at his critics, especially Wizkid fans.
Thursday, October 29, Wizkid released his ‘Made In Lagos’ album, which many celebrities congratulated him, including Davido.
After Davido’s congratulation message, Wizkid intentionally ignored him and acknowledged other colleagues like Patoranking, Yemi Alade, and Burna Boy by liking and retweeting their tweets.
Wizkid fans even took to social media to blast him for being a hypocrite for congratulating their king.
Well, Davido who was not happy about what Wizkid and his fans did, has taken to social media to say; “If you don’t like me your bad vibes …”
When A Man Is Useless, Drop Him Like A Used Sanitary Pad” –Mercy Eke Shades Ike
Mercy Eke and Ike Onyema have both taken to social media to throw shades at each other, IgbereTV reports.
This is coming amid speculation of the Big Brother Naija lovebird's breakup.
Speculation of the couple going seperate ways came after Mercy shared a photo on Snapchat in which she called herself "Mrs H". She also disclosed that she is "off to court" in a photo which came with a ring emoji.
Ike took shots shortly after, stating that he is done with the fake having realized that he deserves so much better.
Ike also shared a post which talked about never being jealous after seeing your ex with someone else.
Mercy however fired by back by tweeting about "dropping a man who is useless".
#igberetv
Fans Hold Vigil To Pray Against 'forces' Between Erica And Kiddwaya's(video)
Last night, Kiddrica fans held a ''vigil'' on Instagram Live to pray against forces standing between Erica and Kiddwaya's relationship.
The vigil came following reports the Big Brother Naija stars unfollowed each other on social media.
Hoping to get them back together, a Kiddwaya and Erica fan account decided to organize a virtual prayer session that was attended by other fans.
They prayed against every man advising Erica wrongly and causing her attention to move away from Kidd. They also prayed against any woman trying to come between Kiddwaya and Erica.
SWAT Begins Training Of 400 Personnel
Minister Of Police Affairs Carries Out Inspection As SWAT Commences Training
The new police unit called Special Weapons and Tactics Unit (SWAT) on Monday began its training with over 400 personnel at the Police Mobile College in Eggon, Nasarawa State.
Present at the training ground was the Minister of Police Affairs, Muhammad Dingyadi, and other officials who came to inspect the training exercise.
In his opening remark, the Minister said he was happy with the progress the personnel was making and charged them to be good role models of the society.
“I believe at the end of this exercise you are going to come out as very dedicated and very committed mobile police officers who will be equal to the task we have assigned to you” he added.
”Your new responsibility as a replacement to SARS is to face the challenges of armed robbery and other crimes across the country.”
He also acknowledged the changing times and advised the personnel to uphold the principles of democracy and human rights as they get set to carry out their new task.
The minister further assured the personnel of President Muhammadu Buhari’s readiness to improve their welfare and other packages promised them.
The personnel who are over 400 have been undergoing training for weeks at the college, which is the second location of the SWAT personnel training in the country.
Wales manager Ryan Giggs has denied an allegation of assault made against him.
The Wales manager has been arrested on suspicion of assaulting his girlfriend, several newspapers have reported.
His representatives said he denies all allegations of assault made against him and is cooperating with the police.
The Football Association of Wales (FAW) has cancelled a press conference planned for Tuesday where Giggs was due to announce his squad for upcoming international games.
It said it was "aware of an alleged incident involving the men's national team manager Ryan Giggs".
A statement released on behalf of Giggs said: "He is cooperating with the police and will continue to assist them with their ongoing investigation."
According to the Sun, the police were called to reports of a disturbance at the former Manchester United winger's home in Salford on Sunday night.
It quotes a Greater Manchester Police statement which says a 46-year-old man was arrested and questioned on suspicion of actual bodily harm and assault involving a woman in her thirties, who sustained minor injuries that did not require any treatment.
It says the man has been released on bail pending further inquiries.
Chukwueze: Man United, Leicester & Everton Are All Interested In Nigerian Winger
Manchester United, Leicester and Everton have joined a growing list of clubs interested in Villarreal and Nigeria winger Samuel Chukwueze, a player who has already caught the attention of three other Premier League clubs and many more across Europe.
Chukwueze only turned 21 earlier this year but has been part of the Villarreal first-team since 2018 after he was scouted by the Spanish side playing at youth level in his native Nigeria.
Chukwueze is valued at more than £80m by Villarreal
90min has been informed that Chukwueze is considering his future in Spain as he looks to take the next step in his career, with the main interest coming from England.
United, Leicester and Everton are the latest clubs to begin monitoring him, while Chelsea - who were watching prior to the signing of Kai Havertz earlier this summer - remain an interested party because of the uncertainty over Callum Hudson-Odoi’s long-term future at Stamford Bridge.
Liverpool have also had eyes on Chukwueze for more than a year, while Wolves are another club who have him on their radar as a potential replacement should Adama Traore move on. 90min understands that Villarreal will expect any suitors to meet a release clause in Chukwueze’s contract that is currently in excess of £80m.
Villarreal are aware of the scale of the talent they have on their hands and have been shrewdly raising the clause through a series of new contracts in keeping with his escalating value.
Chukwueze has signed two new contracts at El Madrigal in the last 16 months alone and his release clause is now more than double what it was at the start of 2019.
In terms of style, he has been likened to Arjen Robben and has previously admitted to watching hours of clips of the former Bayern Munich star on YouTube, even before games, because the Dutchman is his main source of inspiration and is a ‘king’ and the ‘perfect player’ in his eyes.
He was part of the Nigeria squad that finished third in the 2019 Africa Cup of Nations and was listed as one of UEFA’s 50 young players to watch in 2019/20 alongside the likes of Erling Haaland, Alphonso Davies, Ferran Torres, Sandro Tonali and Rhian Brewster.
#bbcsports
