An eagle advised a woman on the best way to raise children.
“Are you okay, human mother?” the eagle asked.
The woman, surprised, stared at it.
“I’m scared. My baby is about to be born, and I have so many doubts. I want to give him the best, I want his life to be easy and beautiful, but how will I know if I’m raising him right?”
The eagle observed the woman and perched near her.
“Raising a child isn’t easy. It’s not about making everything comfortable. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. When my eaglets are born, the nest is full of feathers and soft grass—they have a place where they can rest, where they feel safe. But when the time comes for them to learn to fend for themselves, I take all that away. I leave only the thorns.”
The woman frowned, confused.
“Thorns? Why make it so hard?”
The eagle looked at her seriously.
“Because thorns cause discomfort. And that discomfort is necessary. They don’t stay there waiting for everything to be handed to them. The thorns force them to seek a better place, to grow. Comfort doesn’t teach them anything.”
The woman pondered the eagle’s words but still had doubts.
“And what do you do when they fall?” she asked, intrigued.
The eagle replied.
“I throw them into the air. At first, they fall because the wind overpowers them, but I catch them. I lift them with my talons and throw them again. Over and over, until they learn to fly on their own. And do you know what I do next? I let them go. I don’t help them anymore.”
The woman looked at her, wide-eyed, not fully understanding.
“I don’t enable dependency,” the eagle continued. “My children must learn to fly, must learn to be strong on their own. Life isn’t about keeping them in a soft, safe nest all the time. If I overprotect them, if I keep them in my nest forever, I won’t be teaching them anything. They need to find their own way, and I know they will.”
The woman, gazing at the eagle, took a deep breath.
“So, I should let my child suffer a little?” she said, a bit fearful.
The eagle nodded.
“It’s not suffering. It’s learning. And though it may hurt you, human mother, the best thing you can do is teach him to be strong. Don’t hold him back, don’t coddle him all the time. Make him fly.”
The woman nodded, caressed her belly, looked at the eagle for a long moment, and then, with a smile, bid the bird farewell.
“Thank you, mother eagle,” she whispered as she walked away. “Your advice is invaluable.”
The woman continued on her path, determined to be the mother her child needed: firm, brave, a mother who would teach him to fly.
If you want your child to soar high… don’t do everything for him. Don’t keep him in a nest of comfort. Eagles push their young out of the nest, let them face the thorns, because they know that’s the only way they’ll learn to fly.
Don’t be afraid to see them fall. You, like the eagle, will be there to lift them up, but don’t keep them under your wing forever. Let them face the wind. Let them learn to be strong. True love isn’t protecting them from everything—it’s teaching them to fly, even if it means letting them fall. Let them find their way, even if they stumble along the process.

HOW TO REKINDLE THE FIRE IN YOUR SEXY LOVELIFE

When a man and a woman have been together for a while, it is easy for the fire and intimacy to die down. The passion may not be as it used to be, the marriage can be reduced to a set of boring routine and the excitement can become flat. The first step to getting the fire back is to accept that things have changed for the worse and acknowledgement that for the rekindle to occur, there must be active effort put by both. The fire can be rekindled when you:

1. CHANGE YOUR LOOK
If corporate brands change their look after a few years to appeal to the market, also change your look to appeal to your partner. No matter how good you've been dressing, your partner is already used to it. Buy new clothes, buy new underwear, new lingerie, try a new hairstiyle, work out for a finer physique so that your partner sees you in a new exciting light; rebrand

2. MOVE TO A NEW HOUSE
Changing the environment can help in exciting the senses and add wonder when you are together

3. DO A BEDROOM MAKE OVER
Rearrange things, discard old stuff, buy need stuff, paint the walls a different color; montony is boring. The bedroom should be the most desirable room to be in, change your bedroom settings and do it together so that you both own the make over

4. APOLOGIZE AND FORGIVE
It is hard to have intimacy when issues are unresolved and hidden under the carpet. Don't run away from issues, issues are normal in relationships; love is not the absence of issues, love is the capacity to keep issues from poisoning your warmth. Apologize when you wrong, forgive when wronged

5. GO OUT ON DATES
Go for a holiday, a picnic, a date outside together. A different set up makes you two focus on each other in the thrill of a new venue. Just because you are married doesn't mean you stop dating each other

6. SAY NO PORN
Ask yourself, why do people watch porn? - for sexual stimulation... Depending on porn for sexual stimulation robs your spouse of the full power to stimulate you. Does it mean that your spouse lacks capacity to stimulate you? If so, watching porn doesn't help but makes the situation worse. Porn makes sex cheap and yet the act is part of intimacy. Bring intimacy back, turn off the porn so that your spouse has your full surrender and attention and you are both forced to try as hard as you can to turn each other on and make that climax not just the most intense but the most special

7. COMMIT AFRESH
As your fire has been dwindling, questions have lingered in your partner and you. "Do you love me the same? Do you even love me at all?"... Allay those fears by reaffirming your love for each other. This is why some couples celebrate Anniversaries. Affirmation demolishes the doubts and frees both of you to keep giving your all

8. KEEP THE CHILD/CHILDREN AWAY
It's good to have kids and to be around them, but sometimes keep the children away so that mom and dad can have their alone time. Protect your love from the children's interferance, for if your love is messed up the quality of your parenthood will suffer too

9. AVOID HURTING
Minimize hurting, refrain from hurting each other. A hurting heart finds it difficult to fire up to intimacy

10. KISS MORE
Kissing brings two people together, the more you kiss the more you melt to intimacy. Deep, long, passionate kisses

11. PRAY
God cares about your sex life and intimacy; take your sex and intimacy problems to God together

12. ALLOCATE QUALITY TIME
Don't be passive but actively schedule uninterrupted time. Too many couples dangerously find themselves going through the motions, other things have priority but time together is a by the way

13. HAVE A NO WORK TIME ZONE
It is good to work for your family but your work shouldn't come between you and your spouse. Don't carry work to the bedroom or make your spouse feel denied your attention because you wedded your spouse but you're married to your work

14. KEEP TECHNOLOGY AWAY
Technology can be harmful to your intimacy if it's left to disrupt your time together. Your partner wants to talk to you, to kiss you, to cuddle, to make love, to have your undivided attention but your eyes are busy playing a game on the tablet, chatting on phone, Facebooking, Tweeting, Instagraming. For the sake of love, put away the gadget

15. DANCE MORE
Dancing adds to the fire; it doesn't matter how great a dancer you are or your partner is. Sensual dancing is most ideal for intimacy; salsa, lingala, slow dancing as your bodies grind together

16. HAVE PILLOW TALKS
As the rest of the world is chased away, recline on the bed and have pillow talks. Talks not about bills, responsibilities but about love, emotions, feelings, sex and thoughts

17. WRITE LOVE LETTERS
Leave notes for each other written sweet stuff, leave a note for her on the bed or a note for him in his laptop. Something to make him/her smile, something short and sweet made personal by your handwriting

18. LET GO OF DISTRACTIONS
Those people you flirt with and excuse yourself saying you are not cheating as long as you don't have sex with them, block them. Entertaining distractions reduces the effort you should be putting towards enriching your love life

19. INVEST IN NEW SCENTS
Buy a new perfume/cologne; introduce your partner to a new exciting scent that will invite your partner to unveil you and be around you

20. LET LOOSE
Stop being rigid, be open to change. Experiment, try new sex positions, talk the nice kind of dirty, tease, be playful, play out love scenes.
#relationship
#marriage
#intimacy

BEING FAITHFUL IS NOT ENOUGH

Are you faithful to your spouse? Good!

But just because you are not cheating doesn't necessarily mean you are an amazing spouse.

1. Are you emotionally there for your spouse? Do you take time to connect with your spouse or are you faithful but making your spouse feel lonely?

2. Are you a good and present parent? Do you help out in raising the children or have you distanced yourself from parenthood? Do you intentionally participate in the bringing up of the children or are you faithful but making your spouse feel like a single parent?

3. Are you responsible with your finances? Have you brought strain to the family resources? Are you making sound financial choices or are you faithful but sinking your family wealth?

4. Are you satisfying your spouse's sexual needs? Are you great in bed and making your spouse feel good? Are you giving your spouse pleasure or are you faithful but presiding over a sexually boring marriage?

5. Are you supportive? Are you keen on cheering your spouse on in growth? Do you help your spouse achieve their dreams or are you faithful but discouraging or disinterested in your spouse's progress?

6. Are you kind? Do you speak to your spouse well? Do you speak with love and peace or are you mean, domineering and rude? Are your words pleasant or are you faithful but hurtful with your words?

7. Are you passionate about love? Does your spouse see desire in your eyes? Do you look forward to doing things with your spouse or you don't do dates or fun things? Do you make memories with your spouse or are you faithful but in a dead marriage of no activity?

8. Are you spiritually alive? Do you pray with your spouse, lead your spouse closer to God? Does your spouse see God in you? Do you enrich your spouse's walk or are you faithful but a stumbling block?

9. Are you encouraging? When your spouse hits rock bottom do you judge your spouse? Do you put your spouse down or are you faithful but demeaning?

10. Are you truthful? Do you tell your spouse the truth? Do you keep secrets? Are you honest or are you faithful but with a record of lies that hurt?

11. Are you pleasant to look at and desirable? Do you look good and smell good? Do you work on your appearance or are you faithful but smelly, unkempt, don't care in your presentation and distasteful?

12. Are your conversations stimulating? Do your stories your spouse up? Are you fun to talk to or are you faithful but a gossip, immature in reasoning, shallow and uninspiring?

13. Are you a good listener? Do you give your spouse room to talk and share his/her opinion or are you faithful but manipulative, selfish and only want things to go your way?

14. Are you abusive? Do you insult your spouse, do you make your spouse feel attacked, do you throw things at your spouse or hit your spouse? Are you non-violent or are you faithful but abusive?

Sadly, we have reduced the standard of a good spouse to one who doesn't cheat, yet there is so much more to being a good spouse.

Are you really a good spouse?

ALOT OF BELIEVERS ARE DOING THIS, AND IT IS BAD - APOSTLE JOSHUA SELMAN

Don't give God any condition to have to move through a formula. One of the prayers you should be praying is "Lord no matter how you want to move in my life and my family, please go ahead, the most important thing is that this yoke must be lifted"

There are many of us, the moment we say "May God lift you", and uncle comes to your mind, you have force God to bring that breakthrough through that uncle. That is not how a believer works because you will keep disappointing yourself again and again.

Some of you would have been blessed since, if you say "God by your wisdom, do anything you want to do in my life". Your ways and God's ways are not the same, but most of you have been forcing God to walk through your ways. Don't force God to give you anything, follow his ways and patterns.

Most of you, the reason why you have not experienced the blessings is because you don't have God's stamina to stand the attacks that comes with the blessing you are asking God to give you. Every realm of reality has a spiritual stamina, a requirement of stamina to be ushered into that realm.

If you want God to lift you, just follow his pattern, don't try to introduce your own pattern to God, because by doing so, you are actually telling God that you know what's best for you. Don't ever give God a familiar through which he can bless you.

What a powerful message to parents!

A leopard's jaws grab a baboon's carcass. The predator has captured its prey and is willing to take it to its cubs.. However, a small detail gets the attention. Clinging to his mother's body, a baby baboon, with fear in his eyes, resists abandoning her.

The image was taken by Basque photographer Igor Altuna.

This photo says a thousand things, but what strikes me is the fact that a child follows it’s parent. You can walk that child right into Hell and he/she will follow you without question. You can throw them on your back and walk them into a land of opportunity or you can drag them by the arm into some reckless situations. Either way, they cling to you. It begs the question…. Where are you leading your children? Are they exposed to consistent domestic violence, arguing, abuse, drug use? Do they experience abandonment, being placed in rooms behind screens to allow you to have “free time”? Or are they your priority? Do you sacrifice your plans for theirs? Do you put their needs and wants before your own? Remember, we chose to have children they didn’t choose. They deserve every opportunity to experience life. They deserve peace, happiness, joy, and fulfillment. They don’t deserve to be your door mat. Your second rank servant, or your punching bag. Make them a priority, not a chore. Set them up for success, not failure. Lead them, don’t drag them. Because like it or not, they will follow you into Hell if that’s where you take them.

Six Leadership Principles that we can learn from an Eagle

1. Eagles fly Alone and at High Altitudes.
They don't fly with sparrows, ravens, and other small birds.

MEANING; Stay away from narrow-minded people, those that bring you down. Eagle flies with Eagles. Keep good company.

2. Eagles have an Accurate Vision. They have the ability to focus on something as far as 5km away. No matter the obstacles, the eagle will not move his focus from the prey until he grabs it.

MEANING; Have a vision and remain focused no matter what the obstacles and you will succeed.

3. Eagles do not Eat Dead things. They Feed only on Fresh Prey.

MEANING; Do not rely on your past success, keep looking for new frontiers to conquer. Leave your past where it belongs, in the past.

4. Eagles Love the Storm.
When clouds gather, the eagle gets excited, the eagle uses the storms wind to lift itself higher. Once it finds the wind of the storm, the eagle uses the raging storm to lift itself above the clouds. This gives the eagle an opportunity to glide and rest its wings. In the meantime, all the other birds hide in the branches and leaves of the tree.

MEANING; Face your challenges head on knowing that these will make you emerge stronger and better than you were. We can use the storms of life to rise to greater heights. Achievers are not afraid to rise to greater heights. Achievers are not afraid of challenges, rather they relish them and use them profitably.

5. Eagles Prepare for Training;
They remove the feathers and soft grass in the nest so that the young ones get uncomfortable in preparation for flying and eventually flies/ when it becomes unbearable to stay in the nest./

MEANING; Leave your Comfort Zone, there is No Growth there.

6. When the Eagle Grows Old,
His feathers becomes weak and cannot take him as fast and as high as it should. This makes him weak and could make him die. So he retires to a place far away in the mountains. While there, he plucks out the weak feathers on his body and breaks its beaks and claws against the rocks until he is completely bare; a very bloody and painful process. Then he stays in this hiding place until he has grown new feathers, new beaks and claws and then he comes out flying higher than before.

MEANING; We occasionally need to shed off old habit no matter how difficult, things that burden us or add no value to our lives should be let go of.

MY WIFE TREATS ME COLDLY

Good afternoon ma'am.

Please, I need your advice.

I don't want to pretend not to know where my problem is coming from.

I know I'll be dragged but if a solution would come from there I don't mind.

I was never the best husband.

I was the kind of husband who wanted what he wanted at any time.

When my wife got pregnant with our first child I wasn't kind to her.

I was one of those men who believed that women exaggerated too much about everything.

I know that pregnancy and labour are stressful and painful but not the way many women today exaggerate.

By the way, our mothers had 8-10 children.

If it was as painful as many women claim it is today, I doubt they would have had that many children.

So when she got pregnant I never assisted her in any way.

I expected her to do all the housework like she used to before she got pregnant.

She complained but I didn't pay any attention to her.

I hung out with my friends like my life depended on it.

She cried most of the time but I didn't care because I didn't do anything bad to her.

I asked for special dishes and expected her to meet my conjugal needs.

This continued all through pregnancy.

The day she went into labour I was at home.

She came to inform me and seemed like she was in so much pain.

I told her to snap out of the act because she knew labour was not as painful as women had made it look.

She thought I was joking but when I continued watching skits online she knew I wasn't joking.

She screamed in pain until our landlord and his wife came to knock on the door.

I opened the door before someone would think I was hi.tt.ing her.

They came in and the landlord’s wife saw her and said it looked like she was in labour.

I said yes she was but I couldn't understand why she was screaming and pretending to be in pain.

Two of them exchanged glances before his wife asked where's your hospital bag.

My wife pointed to somewhere in the sitting room.

She grabbed it and they took my wife with them.

The landlord called some younger guys to help carry my wife to their car because she could no longer walk.

I watched them from the terrace until they drove off.

I saw how these men were touching my wife all in the name of carrying her because she was in labour and couldn't work and vowed never to go to that hospital.

I vowed that they'd pay the hospital bills and provide for the baby.

I was expecting the landlord to inform me that my wife had given birth but I never heard anything and pride didn't let me call.

A few days later my wife returned home and the landlord and his wife brought her.

They were carrying two babies and that was when I found out that she was even pregnant with twins.

No one said anything to me.

They helped my wife settle in.

I was expecting to hear how much her delivery cost but no one said anything to me.

I was completely ignored.

As a result, I left the house angrily and didn't return for a few days.

I was expecting to be called but no one did.

Out of anger, I told my wife that her mother couldn't come to my house.

If she wanted her to come she should find her own apartment.

To my surprise, she moved in with our landlord.

They live alone and all their children are grown and married.

The landlord's wife was already looking after her as her Mum wasn't yet around.

A few days later, her Mum arrived and I thought she would have come to speak to me to hear my side of the story but she didn't.

She nursed her daughter back to good health in the Landlord's house.

I used to boil in anger each time I heard their laughter.

Her Mum stayed for 3 months before leaving and not once did she knock on my door.

I confronted her just before she left and she didn't say a word to me.

I told her that she should take her daughter with her because our marriage is over and I now doubted that the children were mine.

She just said I should do as I please but return their daughter like I took her to her father's house with my family if I no longer wanted her.

I felt so much pain seeing the Landlord holding my children like they were his or he was their grandfather.

One day I confronted him and his wife and they didn't even say a word.

I thought other tenants would come to my aid but no one did.

When the children turned 6 months old, my wife returned to the apartment.

The Landlord's wife still stopped by to look after the children.

She held them when my wife resumed work.

Gradually I realised that I played no role in her life or that of our children.

She never felt any pain I wanted her to feel.

They had shielded her.

I then realized she had become so cold towards me.

I swallowed my pride and approached our landlord and his wife to complain to them.

They tongued lashed me at first before telling me that I was very cr.uel.

They said they had watched how I treated my wife all through pregnancy.

They watched her return from the market with two heavy sacks, and even when I was home I wouldn't help her.

They said they gave up on me after the way I behaved when my wife was in labour and even crying and I said she was pretending.

His wife told me that women never forget how you treat them when they are pregnant.

He said my wife could never relate to me normally again because I was too cr.uel to her when she needed me most.

I left their apartment shattered.

I've apologized to my wife but nothing has changed.

It's been 18 months now and it's still the same thing.

She's very cold towards me.

I have turned a new leaf but she doesn't take me seriously.

She's just nonchalant to all my efforts.

Please is there another way to let her know that I'm sorry?

I used to hear that women never forget how you treat them when they are pregnant but I thought it was a joke.

Now I know better and I'm sorry.

Please what can I do?

I've tried reaching out to her family but I'm having cold feet because of how I've related to them.

Please help me because I'm desperate.

I don't like how I'm living with my wife.

We are worse than Roommates.

I know some people would advise that I marry another woman or get a side chick but please that's not what I need.

I'll be reading the comments.

All I'll say is that if you take a poll, many people can relate to this scenario.

Pregnancy changes a lot and also reveals a lot.

I just hope you can work this out even though it seems very unlikely but you never know.

Over to the elders.