Walk with me, let me tell you a karmic story.

A friend of mine, let's call her Uduak, banks with a certain Nigerian bank.

Whenever she goes there to carry out transactions, she dashes money to the police officer and the private security guards on duty. Nothing huge, but enough for them to express their deepest gratitude each time.

One time, Uduak's mother was very sick and in the hospital. As her primary caregiver, Uduak was in charge of buying medication, paying for tests, and other things. One day, she had to pay some medical bills. But there was a problem.

She'd spent so much money that day, that she'd exceeded the daily transaction limit on her account. It was a weekend and the bank was closed. So, she couldn't walk in and increase her transaction limit.

Desperate to take out money and pay for her mother's treatment, Uduak asked one of the security guys, the one she'd known the longest, if her sibling could pay some money into his account and he'd withdraw some of it and give it to her in cash and transfer the remainder into her account.

"No problem, Ma," he replied.

The money was sent - ₦350,000. Mr Security Guard said he hadn't gotten the credit alert. Maybe it was the network. Call and confirm that it was sent. Yes, it was sent. Let's wait, the alert will come. Uduak waited. After some time had passed, Mr Security Guard acknowledged receipt. Then he said he couldn't give her the money.

At first, my friend thought it was a joke. You can't give me the money how? Is this playing? It's in your account. Withdraw some for me, transfer the rest.

"Ah, me I can't do it o," the guy said. "My wife saw the money the moment it entered and she texted me that she has already used it to pay for something."

Uduak nearly went mad. She fell to her knees and begged. For her money.

"Please. Don't do this. That money is for my mother's treatment. She's in the hospital right now. Please. Give me the money."

Mr Security Guard did not budge. The other guards and policeman drew closer and asked what was happening. My friend filled them in. They basically said, "Tor, there's nothing he can do nah. His wife has used it."

At that point, my friend was wailing. What kind of trouble had she gotten herself into? She'd always been nice to them. Why would they do this to her? As she was crying, she overheard them talking, asking the guy if truly his wife had used the money. Yeah, he said she'd used it, but not all.

They said, "If she hasn't used all, you sef, use the remaining to buy beer for us during your child dedication this coming Sunday."

Ahhhh! My friend was weak.

"You're using the money meant for a sick woman to buy things for your baby's dedication? You want to buy beer with it? Why are you doing this? Have I ever offended you?"

Ignoring her, the security guard answered a call. Then he handed the phone to Uduak.

"My wife wants to speak with you."

Uduak collected the phone, hoping she could reason with his spouse, woman to woman. She listened with a rapidly breaking heart as the woman on the other side spoke.

"Madam, there's no need to keep disturbing my husband. I've used the money to buy things for our baby's dedication this coming Sunday."

"You used all my money? Just now now now, you used 350k? Madam, please. That money is meant for my mother's treatment. Please return it. I'm begging you."

"Ha! I said I've used it nah. What do you want me to do?"

My friend burst into fresh tears and pled with her to at least give back something, no matter how small. Grudgingly, Mrs Security Guard said she'd refund some. And that after she sent it, Uduak shouldn't stress them about repaying the rest because they wouldn't be able to do so. Mr Security Guard asked for her account details. Some minutes later, Uduak got a credit alert for ₦100,000.

Wiping her tears, she turned and told that uniformed gang of Yahoo Princes and their Princess, that she was leaving them in the hands of God.

We, her friends, were maaaaaad! What do you mean leave them to God? You better go back and report these 419ners to the bank.. But Uduak was too consumed with caring for her mother to bother.

Days after that incident, Uduak's mother passed away.

A couple of weeks or so later, Mrs Security Guard called her. To ask for forgiveness. For mercy. You see that baby they'd dedicated? Something something happened. The baby fell sick. The baby has died.

Uduak told her she was mourning her mum too and hung up on her.

A few days later, Mr Security Guard called. To say sorry. To ask for forgiveness. Something something happened. His brother has died.

Again, Uduak hung up.

More days passed. Mr Security Guard's colleague, one of the Association of Beer Drinkers, called. To ask her for mercy. Maybe pray for him. Somehow somehow, his mother fell ill after that weekend. Something something happened. His mother has died.

Click. Hang up.

Then the police officer called. She didn't even bother picking the call. Karma was doing a good job already - no need for her to interfere.

Que sera sera. Let what will be, be.

Now she's going to the bank to report them. What they started, she's about to finish. That ₦250,000 they withheld? It's gonna choke them ten ways to Sunday.

~ Eketi Edima Ette
Walk with me, let me tell you a karmic story. A friend of mine, let's call her Uduak, banks with a certain Nigerian bank. Whenever she goes there to carry out transactions, she dashes money to the police officer and the private security guards on duty. Nothing huge, but enough for them to express their deepest gratitude each time. One time, Uduak's mother was very sick and in the hospital. As her primary caregiver, Uduak was in charge of buying medication, paying for tests, and other things. One day, she had to pay some medical bills. But there was a problem. She'd spent so much money that day, that she'd exceeded the daily transaction limit on her account. It was a weekend and the bank was closed. So, she couldn't walk in and increase her transaction limit. Desperate to take out money and pay for her mother's treatment, Uduak asked one of the security guys, the one she'd known the longest, if her sibling could pay some money into his account and he'd withdraw some of it and give it to her in cash and transfer the remainder into her account. "No problem, Ma," he replied. The money was sent - ₦350,000. Mr Security Guard said he hadn't gotten the credit alert. Maybe it was the network. Call and confirm that it was sent. Yes, it was sent. Let's wait, the alert will come. Uduak waited. After some time had passed, Mr Security Guard acknowledged receipt. Then he said he couldn't give her the money. At first, my friend thought it was a joke. You can't give me the money how? Is this playing? It's in your account. Withdraw some for me, transfer the rest. "Ah, me I can't do it o," the guy said. "My wife saw the money the moment it entered and she texted me that she has already used it to pay for something." Uduak nearly went mad. She fell to her knees and begged. For her money. "Please. Don't do this. That money is for my mother's treatment. She's in the hospital right now. Please. Give me the money." Mr Security Guard did not budge. The other guards and policeman drew closer and asked what was happening. My friend filled them in. They basically said, "Tor, there's nothing he can do nah. His wife has used it." At that point, my friend was wailing. What kind of trouble had she gotten herself into? She'd always been nice to them. Why would they do this to her? As she was crying, she overheard them talking, asking the guy if truly his wife had used the money. Yeah, he said she'd used it, but not all. They said, "If she hasn't used all, you sef, use the remaining to buy beer for us during your child dedication this coming Sunday." Ahhhh! My friend was weak. "You're using the money meant for a sick woman to buy things for your baby's dedication? You want to buy beer with it? Why are you doing this? Have I ever offended you?" Ignoring her, the security guard answered a call. Then he handed the phone to Uduak. "My wife wants to speak with you." Uduak collected the phone, hoping she could reason with his spouse, woman to woman. She listened with a rapidly breaking heart as the woman on the other side spoke. "Madam, there's no need to keep disturbing my husband. I've used the money to buy things for our baby's dedication this coming Sunday." "You used all my money? Just now now now, you used 350k? Madam, please. That money is meant for my mother's treatment. Please return it. I'm begging you." "Ha! I said I've used it nah. What do you want me to do?" My friend burst into fresh tears and pled with her to at least give back something, no matter how small. Grudgingly, Mrs Security Guard said she'd refund some. And that after she sent it, Uduak shouldn't stress them about repaying the rest because they wouldn't be able to do so. Mr Security Guard asked for her account details. Some minutes later, Uduak got a credit alert for ₦100,000. Wiping her tears, she turned and told that uniformed gang of Yahoo Princes and their Princess, that she was leaving them in the hands of God. We, her friends, were maaaaaad! What do you mean leave them to God? You better go back and report these 419ners to the bank.. But Uduak was too consumed with caring for her mother to bother. Days after that incident, Uduak's mother passed away. A couple of weeks or so later, Mrs Security Guard called her. To ask for forgiveness. For mercy. You see that baby they'd dedicated? Something something happened. The baby fell sick. The baby has died. Uduak told her she was mourning her mum too and hung up on her. A few days later, Mr Security Guard called. To say sorry. To ask for forgiveness. Something something happened. His brother has died. Again, Uduak hung up. More days passed. Mr Security Guard's colleague, one of the Association of Beer Drinkers, called. To ask her for mercy. Maybe pray for him. Somehow somehow, his mother fell ill after that weekend. Something something happened. His mother has died. Click. Hang up. Then the police officer called. She didn't even bother picking the call. Karma was doing a good job already - no need for her to interfere. Que sera sera. Let what will be, be. Now she's going to the bank to report them. What they started, she's about to finish. That ₦250,000 they withheld? It's gonna choke them ten ways to Sunday. ~ Eketi Edima Ette
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