It is mind-boggling.

This story I was told.

About this man whose wealth is humongous.

With a name and fame that is very popular.

But cannot sleep under the same roof with his wife and children.

Or under any roof he owns.

Or any roof he pays for in any kind.

Or any roof he has slept under before.

Or know any woman carnally from the day his wealth arrived.

Including his wife.

And she cannot know any man carnally too.

Lest the man and him dies mysteriously.

And she lives on.

So he is completely celibate.

And he sleeps in the houses of friends.

Only those he does not spend his money on in whatever capacity.

Or contributes financially to their upkeep or business in anyway.

Or in hotel rooms and guest houses these same kinds of friends get for him.

For decades a piece of undeveloped land a friend had was his residence.

He erected a new tent each night and slept underneath it.

It had a camp bed, stove, insect repellant, generating set and all other sanity inconveniences.

It was his and his wife's little secret.

But when the area developed and his residence there couldn't be kept a secret, he had to move on from there.

Creating new ways to spend his nights as life rolled on.

Including sleeping at the beach for years, something he still does in regular intervals.

Clad as a man praying to the powers of the oceans.

A regular that no one disturbs sake of the bushy beard he wears as disguise.

When he flies abroad, no matter how long the journey he dares not sleep in the plane.

And when there, it is always on the invite of other parties, who take care of his accommodation without his involvement, so he gets to sleep in the hotel or housing accommodation they get for him.

It is an unshakeable requirement of his for him to honour invitations.

You must take care of his accommodation irrespective of his wealth or ability to do so himself.

He lives his life like this.

Totally reliant on the fidelity of his wife.

Who knows what he knows.

Keeping her vow to him for the sakes of their children and the unfettered access to the wealth that is guaranteed her.

Both of them knowing that the wealth will not outlive them.

So the quality education, social connection and occupational privilege is the only inheritance their children will eventually have.

It is a well planned life.

One in which the public celebrates him as wealthy and generous.

And in the place he worships on Sundays.

He carries various titles as they also venerate him in ways immeasurable as chaste, God fearing and charitable.

Unknowing to them and others.

For him to get his rocks off.

He organizes parties with his wife.

Where young ladies and guys come to display their carnality in his presence.

While he and her watches until their digital satiation.

Apart, even though sitting together.

Doing it to themselves but not to each other.

After which when all is done, they pay the ladies and guys handsomely for their participation.

Once when the liquor hit.

And the tongue came lose.

He boasted to the one who told me this story.

A good friend of his, younger than him, and a major and regular participant in the parties as one of the organizers.

Who helps them recruit a revolving number of new ladies and guys.

Some of them famous and others not famous.

"... I told the guys who were afraid to do this thing when I did it, that once I marry and have my kids, I will do it and beat it to its game and still survive. They did not believe me. Cowards. See me now, in my seventies, forty years going and still alive and very healthy. The thing is that most of my friends in my days of struggling who were afraid of doing what I did have long since died as poor men. You see this life. Fear will not make you live any longer than you are destined to live. The funny thing is that the heaven my old friends wanted to enter by being holy and not putting their hand where I put my hand is not even guaranteed for them, because no matter how you live this life, you must sin and in the presence of God, sin is sin. So at the end of the day, nobody is making that heaven since we are all sinners. So, what is the point of suffering in this life, if you know what to do to make you enjoy it, even if that thing you have to do, some people call it a sin?..."

Lagos

Jude Idada
April 7, 2024

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