By Chinelo Nwangene
Mrs Ngozi Ezeonu, on February 15, gave out her daughter in marriage without her husband’s consent. Many thought it was a movie trailer, until the actress’ ex-husband raised the alarm and declared the marriage a nullity.
Edwin Ezeonu, the estranged husband of the Nollywood actress, Ngozi Ezeonu, has cursed his daughter, Ogechukwu Edwina (Ibiza) following her marriage to Remi, without his consent.
He insisted that the marriage, which drew the crème de la crème in the Nollywood, was a sacrilegious and against the tradition of his people.
“I’m a real son of the soil in Igboland and I am knowledgeable about Igbo traditional rites. In Anambra State, where I come from, a woman does not and has no right whatsoever to give out daughter in marriage. It is abominable and a taboo. As such, Ngozi Denis Ikpelue, has no legitimate right and authority to give out my daughter in marriage. As long as I am concerned, and also the entire family of Ezeonu and his kindred are concerned, Ogechukwu is not married. What happened in Asaba, Delta State, on February 15, 2020, was a movie, not real life situation!”
Mr. Ezeonu also dispelled rumours that the marriage was conducted without his consent because he abandoned his four children and, therefore, lost the right to be their father.
“I hear people saying that I abandoned my children. I never did so! I took care of my children; I did visit Ogechukwu in school. Even when she was in boarding school, I did visit to give her money and food stuff.
“I paid my children’s school fees, supplied them food stuff. I made sure I sent money into Ngozi’s account every month. The least I sent to her was N400,000. When it became glaring to me that Ngozi was bent on taking the children away, I reduced my financial assistance. But I still kept in touch,” he stated.
He went further: “I gave Ngozi all the supports and encouragements she needed to boost her career as a seasoned actress, yet, she never valued all my efforts. She also never contributed a dime to the upkeep of the house and wellbeing of the children. Even after they left, I still catered for my kids: school fees, foodstuff and all. I was vexed that my only daughter would do this to me. Ngozi should also desist from using my name as her surname. We are divorced.”
Since the wedding, which took place in the actress’ home in Delta, rather than her husband’s home in Anambra, as customs demands, the social media and mainstream media went bubbling with debate. While traditionalists considered the controversial wedding as an affront on Igbo tradition, a section of feminists had backed the divorcée actress, insisting that a man, who played no part in his daughter’s upbringing should not be allowed to give her away in marriage.
A concerned citizen, Ojinma Collete, expressed her approval for the actress’ decision to give away her daughter in marriage without her ex-husband’s approval. She also insisted that she could go beyond what happened if found in the same situation.
“I’ll invite him and tell the bouncers not to let him in. Your wife left your house for no reason and you peacefully let her be?” She fumed.
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Oludalapo Olaolu Adeogun argued that “tradition is part of what is ruining us in this life. If you don’t have a relationship with your daughter, you should as well have no right to give her away in marriage. I’m sure if he had maintained and bonded the relationship with her daughter earlier than now, she might not have gotten married behind him”.
Charles Ogbu contended that once it’s established that a man failed in his duties as a father to his children, he has lost the traditional right to give his children out in marriage.
“If you abandon your children for their mother to cater for everything, your daughter will get married without your knowledge, because, in your absence, another male relative will do the hand-over rites, and even if you curse that marriage, your curse will turn to blessing because, you ignored your own duties and obligations. The gods are just and wise, and they don’t reason like some of us.
On the contrary, Igwe Kenn-Chibuzo Simon Charles opined: “In my village, no matter how irresponsible or useless the father is, no matter whether he disowned the children and his wife, nobody will dare ‘tụọ mmanya nkwụ’ (libation) of the bride. He will be sought wherever he is, unless he gave consent for someone else to do it on his behalf. Unless the marriage was customarily severed and the kids disowned. Few men in my family, who dared to do the traditional libation left for the father of the bride died within izu asaa (month). A father (in my village) owns the child whether they are separated or not, unless he did not do the traditional ịtụ mmanya. And any bride that this ịtụ mmanya is not done is not married traditionally. This is the center of our traditional marriage.”
Mazi Elochukwu Nicholas Ohagi, also said, “Our tradition doesn’t encourage irresponsibility or condone it. That is the reason our tradition recognises the Umunna, Ndi Ogboo, Umuada, and Alutaradi. These people are always there to do justice to every problem. When a man is irresponsible, there is no how his entire family, Umunna, Umuada etc will be irresponsible too. When a man is an efulefu, who abandoned his family, the daughter have to meet the Umunna, who will give the daughter out for marriage. I have seen where an uncle refused to give her brother’s daughter out in marriage according to custom, and the Umuanne did justice to the entire thing.
Blizzy Clems, in her own view, insisted that Ngozi’s action crossed the redline of culture and tradition. According to her, no matter what her husband did to her, the actress supposed to give her husband that respect as the tradition demanded than taking laws into her hand.
“No one prays to have a broken home, but in a situation like this, we should avoid being tempted to do things out of anger”, she added.
According to Collins Nwude, conducting a marriage without seeking and obtaining consent of a lady’s father was a big act of disrespect.
“How would you marry a lady without her father’s consent? Where was the traditional rite of the marriage done; who did they pay dowry to?” Nwude queried, stressing that the groom was in danger as well.
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“He should pray that he would die before the lady, because, if anything would happen to the lady, that’s when he would understand the definition of tradition. One cannot use the tools that’s meant for cleaning the teeth to clean his eyes”, he added.
Oluebeube Ogugua agreed that marriage conducted without fatherly blessing was doomed from onset. She cited her uncle’s experience as a case study.
“This was exactly what happened to my uncle, who married his wife from her mother without seeking the hand of the father as the tradition demanded. The whole issue was as a result of his mother-in-law, who claimed that the husband didn’t play any vital role in her upbringing; but that was a lie against the man. It was done because she wanted to fulfil her vow that she would rather die than see her husband enjoy anything good that would come from his children. So, when things got twisted, my uncle started seeking for solution only to find out that the cause of the sickness was because of the abominable act he did and he went to her father-in-law and performed the rightful tradition to him”.
Andy Eze insisted that women have no right to give out their daughter’s hand in marriage without the father’s consent in Igbo land.
“The truth remains that whether they are still together or not, either parent has no right to marry off the daughter without seeking the other’s consent. Igbo has traditions and the way of doing things, and these institutions must be respected and preserved”.
According to Nkwuaku Mary Ebele, Ngozi Ezeonu thought she had acquired all the money she needed in life and so, had the right to do whatever she wanted to do without being questioned by anyone.
“Tradition is tradition, and no one dares it; we should not forget that. Paying the daughters dowry to the father won’t take away anything from her, since the tradition has demanded so”, she opined.
Ekele Ifeanyi blamed the groom and his family for the crisis.
“The husband of the daughter didn’t play his part well. I can’t imagine dating a girl without knowing her father, not to talk of marrying her. If the girl in question is not bothered for me to see her father, when the marriage is about to take place, I don’t think it will be right for me to go ahead with the marriage.
Ehinomen Anthony Eguawele placed the blame on the daughter for not honouring her father.
“The daughter in question, who is the bone of contention in this matter, got the whole thing wrong by not informing her father that she’s getting married. No matter what happened between the parents or what she must have been told about her father, she was supposed to give him that respect because, it was both of them that brought her into existence. The daughter should go and ask her father for forgiveness and his blessings too.
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