IF YOU DESIRE TO RAISE CHILDREN WHO WILL GIVE YOU REST OF MIND ALL THROUGH YOUR LIFETIME, READ THIS WRITE UP!

Yesterday, we attended an event that changed my perspective on raising kids completely in US. I will try to summarize the key points as it will be helpful to all. The speaker was Dr. Leonard Sax. Even though it was at the Centre it was not related to any religion. The speaker is a Jewish Psychologist and author of a famous book called Collapse of Parenting. He had a lot of statistical information and tips to raise kids in America. Even though it was more focused on American Kids, it applies to bringing up Kids in the Age of Internet and Social Media, the evils of which have spread like an epidemic in the whole world. I can tell you that this was probably the best 3 hour workshop we attended. Even though a big segment was dedicated to social media, it was primarily about raising kids who will go on to have strong character and virtue. I have summarized the points below.

1) Statistically, the biggest indicator of success by age 32, is having self-control at age 12.
Success is determined by a lot of factors namely no drugs, no criminal violation, having a stable job, good citizenship, etc.

2) Make your kids speak their native language at home and with you. Reduce generation gap by involving their grandparents in their lives. If possible, try to convince their grandparents to move in with you.

3) Make them feel proud of their heritage. Kids nowadays are ashamed to speak their language or wear their cultural attire. In a quest to fit in and assimilate they want to no longer associate with their roots.

4) Have a friend circle with folks whose kids also are able to communicate in the same mother tongue. This way the kids can speak the language among themselves.

5) Do not give them smart phones until you know they are responsible. Buy them a dumb phone if required. This phone will fulfill the needs.

6) He went on to compare American society of the 50s to now. The family unit used to be the focus of ads and movies. How media has changed. At that time shows that depict parents as role models having strong moral characters were popular. Now shows like Simpsons, etc., that show Parents as dumb are popular. Make sure you keep track of things your kids watch. The more they watch shows like this the more they will loose respect for you as a parent.

7) Keep them away from games that promote violence and vice. He talked about Fortnite and Grand Theft Auto. Grand Theft Auto, in particular, rewards a person for doing all the wrong stuff like stealing cars and killing people. What kind of character is that going to build. He talked about how violence in games is directly related to gun violence in America with statistical examples.

😎 No TV or computers in the bedroom. Kids cannot be in the bedroom with screen whether it's school work or something else. Make family room a place where screen time is allowed. Follow the example yourself as well. Bedroom should be a place to go to sleep not to socialize with the outside world.

9) Keep kids away from Instagram, Snapchat and Facebook, if possible, as long as possible. Put monitoring software on their devices so that every single picture they take or Share, you get notified. Take their phones away at 9 in the night and give it back to them in the morning. Tell them that this is a condition going forward if they would like to keep their phones.

1 Be a peer to them but not a friend. If you become too friendly with the kids, they will start taking you for granted. Speak to them from a place of authority where No means No. When you take away the privileges from kids for their bad actions, they are going to resist. Be firm, remember you are the Parent.

11) Girls, according to statistics, are greatly influenced by Instagram and Snapchat. Girls, by nature, will always post the good thing happening in their lives. This will create a false illusion among other girls and lead them to think that their life is a mess and make them go into depression. Boys are more influenced by video games. Limit screen time to 20 minutes a day during the week and 1 hour on weekends. But the condition is they complete all their school work. If they do not listen take away their devices.

12) Raise kids with humility. A very important characteristic. This can be inculcated by making them do chores at home even though you can afford maids. He said that the typical thing that parents say is my son/daughter is already so busy I cannot burden him or her. This is a very wrong approach and will make your kids grow up with a feeling of entitlement and selfishness.

13) The biggest detrimental effect of increased screen time or social media is the displacement effect. Which means that the time they are spending on games is the time they are not spending on something useful.

14) Know what kind of music they listen to. The music of these times are ripe with sexual innuendos. Make sure they do not m