IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE INEVITABLE?

There are about 3,800 genetic and biological differences between the average male and the average female. These distinctions make a deliberate attempt to understand your spouse all the more important.
This becomes even moreso when you consider that beyond these genetic and biological factors most couples before they get together come from different backgrounds with different orientations, different cultures, and many other different proclivities. When you consider this is becomes easy to realise how quickly the average marriage can become a potpourri of disagreement or even conflicts if not properly managed.

Yet, the first and most important institution God created is marriage/family, and it was designed to completely transform those that participate in it.

About 3 years ago a very wise and elderly minister of the gospel told my wife and I something I will never forget. He said, "the moment you get married you lose the right to view anything from only one perspective."
My understanding of what he told us is there are certain things only I can see as a man, and there are certain things only my wife can see as a woman, and when we put these 2 perspectives together we see and go much further than we could ever have on our own.

In a marriage between a man and a woman (this is what marriage is) there will be different perspectives and these are designed to be an advantage and not a disadvantage. No one party is correct. Like someone once said, "there are 3 sides to a marital disagreement- the husband's side, the wife's side, and the right side."

So what the husband and wife must invest most in is communication, constant communication. This is the way you iron out grey areas and grasp the perspective you lack.

It is the lazy and foolish way out for you to cuss out your husband and use verbal and emotional abuse to try to whip him in line; and yes, this is also domestic abuse.
It is the lazy, irresponsible, and stupid way out for you to lay hands on your wife, a woman the parents gave you to nurture and take care of. If you beat your wife you are not a man. There is nothing manly about it.

If you are a man and you beat your wife up and then feel you have accomplished something because your ego gets inflated then you are a mental case.
It is men like you that fight in boxing rings as professional boxers and get paid in millions of dollars, but you would rather throw punches at a defenceless woman, punches that have no commercial value.

Then there are women who attack men. If you are a woman that snaps at your husband and attacks him physically then you are unhinged mentally even though you do not know. You actually deserve a thorough beating but I would appeal to your husband to not descend to your level of stupidity.
I would appeal to him to do what someone I heard about did in a situation like that.
They were having a disagreement when all of a sudden his wife gave him 2 dirty slaps.
The man said nothing after that, he just gently composed himself walked into their room, and helped her arrange all her things.
He packed her suitcases into the car and very gently opened the car door for her and ushered her like the queen she was (marine Queen) into the car and gently drove her back to her father's house.
She was the one that sent emissaries begging after she decided she would be a submissive wife.

Every problem can be sorted out with maturity, understanding, and dialogue. There is no reason whatsoever for domestic violence or abuse of any sort.

~ Pastor Ugonna Emechebe