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2 yrs

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2 yrs

I saw it.

On an accout I follow on instagram.

Germanoneliners.

And remembered when It happened to me.

This thing that happens to others.

Which the Germans call.

Torschlusspanik

Which translated to English means

"Panic of the closing gate"

It is defined as this.

The panic you get one day when you realise that in actual fact you haven't done much with your life and if you don't act soon you may miss out on more opportunities as time passes.

In my case.

It happened one day in Toronto.

When I was at work.

At the time I was Senior Vice President Human Resources.

At a cutting edge dual national IT firm which had offices in Canada and US.

And outsourced a lot of work to Europe, India and China.

Recruiting top fresh talent from Ivy leagues to compete with the likes of Facebook and Google.

I was doing great by world standards.

But to my own personal judgement I was doing very poorly.

It was something that had to do with what I truly wanted to do with my life.

Which was writing novels, plays and screenplays.

And producing and directing stage plays and films.

I had graduated top of my class in Theatre and Film.

After I had changed my course from Agricultural Economics.

And life and its surprises had found me working for the management consulting firm.

Arthur Andersen.

Which became Andersen worldwide.

Before becoming what it is known presently as.

KPMG.

I had emigrated to Canada, done postgraduate studies in Human Capital Development and Change Management.

Began working in the banking industry, then Healthcare industry, then telecommunications before the IT industry.

With each advancement I went further away from the arts.

Which I had fought my father to study.

That day as I worked at my laptop.

I experienced it.

A real fear.

Like an epiphany induced panic.

A powerful realisation that if I continued on the path that I was on.

Even if I became the CEO of the company.

And earned a truck load of money and influence.

Without exceling in the arts which is my first love.

I would have lived a life of unfulfilled potential.

Or as my father said after facilitating my transfer to Theatre Arts after recognising my talent, agreeing with my reasoning and validating my intent.

"You would have lived a wasted life if you achieved everything you didn't want and didn't at least invest time, effort and resources in that thing you were born with the ability, interest and desire to achieve..."

He believed you can be great at doing more than one thing.

You can chase more than one dream at a time.

You can explore a talent or a gift in more than one way.

So, I stood up from my desk that day.

And with a pounding heart and cold stomach churning and spine tingling fear.

I promptly resigned.

To the chagrin of employers, family and friends.

The next day found me chasing my dreams.

It has been over a decade since then.

I have won awards and achieved success doing what I love to do.

Books. Plays. Films.

A creator of value adding life.

I am happy and at peace.

Yet motivated each day to do even more.

By showing the world, one creation at a time, through my artistic pursuits, how it truly is and how it should be.

Yes.

I experienced it.

Die Torschlusspanik.

The panic of the closing gate.

And I did it something about it

I took action.

Have you experienced it?

Are you doing something about it?

Can you take action?

Would you do what a friend of mine who wanted to sing a long time ago but instead found himself in the top levels of banking has decided to do?

In his words.

"... since I can't resign and go into singing now, I will instead invest in the music value chain and help in making others achieve their dreams while I enjoy the satisfaction of experiencing the process of the creation of music, not as a singer as I want to be but can't at this time, but as a facilitator, a sponsor or an investor..."

Our time on Earth is finite.

The gifts, talents, interest and desires we were born with or discovered we had along the way are not by chance.

It was given to us so that we can use it to change and enrich the world in our own way.

And it is sad when to the hearing of the One who embibed these things in us.

We say.

"I used to like doing this thing o, but you know how life is na, I had to chase my daily bread. But I wish I could have..."

This life we live and the many dreams we have that we let remain dreams for one reason or the other until our time is up.

Fallow periods in our lives until we find ourselves in the unyielding grip of the grave.

When it is too late to sow and impossible to harvest.

As my friend who is a palliative nurse in ottawa, Canada and has been at the bedside of hundreds of dying people, would say.

"The one thing most unhappy people who are dying have as they face their end is regret... they say as life slips away from them... I wish I had done..... or I wish I had followed... or I wish I had said... or I wish I had used my talents... or I wish I had just overcome my fear and done what I truly wanted to do..."

Lagos

Jude Idada
November 7, 2023

2 yrs

a bleeding eye can easily dry off but when the heart bleeds,uts a different pain on its own.
I pray everyone going through this kind of pain heal soon.

SHOW a healing process to this by clicking on the like botton

2 yrs

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2 yrs

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